Portfolio

Well, the great Procrastination Project is finally finished (I do not recommend trying to do in two weeks what you should have been doing the entire semester), but I have to say that in spite of all the agony that it's caused me, I like the way my portfolio came out. My professor even complimented me on it when I brought in my display board--ooh, I could have just melted--such a welcome change from the days when I was always being told my work needed to be more "polished!"

But hey! Relentless cheeriness is no fun! Let's take a look at some of the lowlights of my creative process.

• January 27: Delighted to learn that I could do a digital portfolio (getting designs to print right is my constant Waterloo). Promptly proceeded to suffer creative block.
• March 3: Was told I was behind in my work and I needed to start designing things (excuse me! I was setting up the perfect architectural framework! Function before form!)
• March 10: Had to nix glorious plans for interchangeable layouts (à la CSS Zen Garden) when I learned that my digital portfolio and all printed collateral (résumé, business card, etc.) had to have a consistent "identity."
• March 11-April 26: Worked at a leisurely pace and took frequent breaks for computer games and shopping.
• April 27: Suddenly realized that I had a week left before the project was due, and I still needed to build 4 web pages; write and design and print a resume, cover letter, business card, and CD cover; update all the descriptions in my database, move the site from my local machine to my Web host, purchase a new domain, set up the new domain, take screenshots of the website and put them on a CD, mount the resume, cover letter, business card, and CD cover on mat board, come up with a catchy catchphrase, repair all my broken JavaScripts, and other things that I have blocked from my memory.
• April 28: Became very crabby.
• May 2: Finally finished with printed collateral; took printed collateral files to Fedex Office and had printed. Got home and realized I needed 2 copies each of resume and cover letter and I had only printed one. Also realized I had not printed the text on the business card.
• May 3: Took files to Fedex Office again and had printed. Received parking ticket. Went home and learned that documents were full of typos and needed to be printed again.
• May 4: Took subway to DC to purchase mat board. Walked half mile in search of Fedex Office but never found. Walked another half mile to Staples. Was obliged to purchase a 10-pack of black folders even though I only needed 2. While paying for excessive quantity of folders, learned that I had left my debit card at ATM on the previous evening. Walked to art store and then back 3 blocks to bank to cancel debit card. Got blister on foot. Put on band-aid which promptly fell off. Returned home. Prepared documents for taking back to Fedex Office again, then tried printing on home printer. Finally, a highlight! They printed without the ugly lines that I had previously believed my printer put on everything! Cut out business cards, realized text was positioned wrong. Printed again. Mounted everything on mat board, then realized I needed to mount the CD cover as well. Rearranged everything on mat board, leaving glue marks in inappropriate places. I think this ends my litany of lowlights.
• May 5: Delivered portfolio collateral to University. Received compliment. Rejoiced.
  Returned home. Ate ice cream. Obsessively recounted everything I had done, waiting for another lowlight to present itself. It didn't.

And your reward for reading through that protracted tale of portfolio? Behold!

www.valeriehoy.info.

If you find a typo, please break it to me gently.