It's been quite a long time since I wrote a blog post about music. OK, it's been quite a long time since I wrote a blog post, period! I make no excuses. But jeez, you guys—writing is hard!
You know what else is hard? Life.
Yeah,
life is hard, and one thing that makes it easier is a healthy dose of
harmless escapism, in the form of pointless music that refuses to take
itself seriously. So today, in an attempt to hop back on the blogging wagon as well as
to impart cheer and levity to a depressing world, here is a list of
thoroughly ridiculous tunes that I enjoy.
I
hope they serve to make you laugh. Or at least crack a grin? Awkwardly
bare your teeth at me? I'll take anything! I've also compiled them all
into a YouTube playlist, which I hear tell is an excellent way to help readers become listeners! Here you go: enjoy all the yuks in rapid succession. Or read about them below:
Saturday Night in Toledo, Ohio (John Denver)
Back
in the previous decade, when I was last on the online dating scene and
meeting lots of strangers unfamiliar with the great state of Ohio, I
found that most people only knew one of two things about my hometown,
Toledo: a) It's where Corporal Klinger came from, or b) nothing. To
introduce them to my fair former city, I took to sending them this
unflattering little ditty sung by John Denver. For whatever odd reason, I
never felt prouder of Toledo than when I could claim that a famous
musician had singled it out to rhapsodize on how boring it is. Not every
boring city gets a whole song written about it!
Dead Puppies (Ogden Edsl)
Of
all the Dr. Demento songs that I am privileged to know, "Dead Puppies"
stands out as a clear winner. It's a stirring adaptation of Pachelbel's
Canon in D, complete with dramatic organ harmonics and lyrics
about...yes, dead puppies. Most people who I coerce into listening to
this song find it morbid and can't understand why I like it, but if
you've been hearing it regularly since you were an impressionable youth,
it's perfectly normal. And it makes great fodder for derivative works,
with which you can serenade your own dogs! Come on everybody out there,
sing along, OK?
Short Attention Span (Fizzy Bangers)
If
you can only listen to one song on this list, listen to this one—it
will only take you 9 seconds. And that's the punchline. I was introduced
to this song through the CD "Short Music for Short People," which my
mother gifted my brother as a humorous nod to his attention deficit
disorder. (Yeah, as a family that routinely makes fun of each other's
psychiatric diagnoses, it's not so surprising we're also amused by tunes
about dead puppies!) This song kicked off the album and stuck in my
head (perhaps ironically?) for pretty much ever after.
Dugong (Mr Weebl)
If you haven't noticed yet, the songs on this list are arranged in chronological order, and we have finally reached the YouTube era, when all manner of ridiculous music began making it onto the Internet in video form. One of my early favorites is the tune "Dugong," which is not only a cute little cartoon with a tune, but also a veritable lesson in marine biology! Listen and learn!Brodyquest (Neil Cicierega)
Introducing the
category, "Songs that are also internet memes," now comes my pick for the
silliest song on this list—as long as the video counts as part of it.
It's a goofy upbeat electronic composition, which stands alone as
something fun to listen to if you like beeps and boops and the lyrics
"Adrien Brody," but it really comes into its own when enjoyed with the
accompanying animation. Who doesn't want to watch a bouncing starfish
follow a handsome Hollywood actor as he wobbles his cheerful way around
the planet and beyond? I know you do!
The Fox (Ylvis)
The
first time I heard this song, I thought it was stupid (It gets off to a
slow start, and the childish lyrics don't even rhyme!). But by the
third time I heard this song, I knew it was going to be one of my
favorites! Its catchy dance beat is enough to put it on any list of fun
songs, but when you stop to think about its central premise (all the
completely implausible sounds that a fox might hypothetically make), it
becomes fun and hilarious. That is, if you're easily amused by nonsense words.
