Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Enter Sandman

My insomnia story is taking longer to tell than it has taken to play out. For the parts that are chronological, I've only shared as far as early June, and here it is halfway through September! In that time, my sleep has improved a lot, but it's a slow process, and sometimes it regresses. Insomnia thrives on attention, and I have noticed that my sleep tends to be worse on the days I've been writing blog posts or spending too much time in insomnia discussion forums. I'm glad I've finally reached the part of the story where things started looking up. Hopefully the gains I experienced in my past will translate to gains in the present!

I had barely been an insomniac a month before I heard about one of the more effective techniques used in treating it: sleep restriction. With this strategy, you give yourself a "sleep window," a limited set of hours during which you're allowed to be in bed—typically about the same number of hours as you're actually sleeping, on average. With this restrictive window, you're more likely to actually be sleepy when you go to bed and thus more likely to actually fall asleep, and your sleep time is compressed, which generally means it's going to be higher quality with fewer mid-night awakenings.

Sleep restriction is just one of a whole suite of techniques for overcoming insomnia, known collectively as cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia, or CBT-i.

I decided to try it for myself, choosing a sleep window between 2am and 7:30am on April 20th. Trying to keep myself up until 2 felt like the hardest task I ever set myself to! To keep myself occupied, I watched the 1997 version of Cinderella on Disney+, and – I'm sorry Brandy – but you will be forever associated with that traumatic night. All for nothing, too, because since I was doing it on my own with limited knowledge and no support, I failed miserably. I only tried sleep restriction 5 days, never once actually making it to my target bedtime, before I gave up.

I decided that if I was going to do CBT for my insomnia, I was going to have to do it with the assistance of a professional. The psychiatrists I saw never even suggested therapy as an option, and I was reluctant to seek out a therapist on my own while I was still receiving treatment. I was also still hoping against hope that my insomnia would resolve itself, as I still hadn't hit the magical three-month mark at which insomnia officially becomes "chronic."

On June 7, I hit that mark. Three days later, the day my second dose of Lunesta utterly failed me, I acknowledged that this brand of treatment was a waste of my time, and if I was going to get serious about fixing my sleep, I was going to have to start therapy. However, given what I knew about the availability of real-time therapists, and the inevitability of their costs, I decided to try a free option first: a 2-week email sleep training course, taught by none other than Martin Reed, the mystical Insomnia Coach from last post! I had become a huge fan of his Sleep Snippets videos and found lots of useful information in the forums on his website, so I figured I'd give his sleep training a try before forking over any big bucks.

Spoiler alert: It changed my life! 

The sleep training consisted of reading an email a day with behavioral tips, mindfulness tips, and information about how sleep works. Each day there was a question that I was expected to send in an answer to. Occasionally Martin even wrote back with personal replies! In the second week, the rubber met the road, as I was instructed on how to properly implement sleep restriction.

In the course of the two weeks, I didn't really start sleeping any better, but I gained a ton of confidence about my ability to sleep. I no longer felt like a prisoner of my insomnia. And even though I was barely sleeping any more than I had been, I felt 10 times happier and better rested during the day, simply because I had gained knowledge and skills and no longer lived in a constant state of despair.

After months of waiting, the Sandman had finally entered the building. But he wasn't about to sprinkle me with magical sleeping dust just yet! I was going to have to work for it.
 
In a future post, you'll hear exactly what that work looked like.

0 comments: