Friday, October 11, 2013

The Anger Management Fund

Those who know me well know that one of my least attractive traits is a tendency toward tantrums over trivial things. I try (sort of half-heartedly) to keep my cool, but when I'm mad, there's just nothing that makes me want to get un-mad! So what's a hot-headed girl to do?

Well, those who know me even sort of well know that one of my other traits is an unswerving thriftiness. I have rules about how much I'll pay for almost anything, and it takes a truly desperate need to make me exceed my limits. It's not that I don't have the money; it's just that I won't let myself spend it!

And therein lies the key to simmering down when I'd rather just boil over. I need an incentive to curb my anger, and what better incentive for a self-denying penny-pincher like me than free money to spend any way I want?

And so I've started the Anger Management Fund. Now whenever I'm so enraged I want to spit bullets, I offer myself 5 dollars for unrestricted spending. If I want to buy a 60-dollar dress with it, that's fine. Some silly 80-dollar wall decal? No problem. 100-dollar shoes? Girl, that's crazy, but you can do it! (For reference, I usually draw the line at 13 dollars for a dress, 20 dollars for a pair of heels, and zero dollars for home decor.)

Though the logic is somewhat flawed (It's not like the money isn't coming out of my own funds anyway), this actually usually works to help me calm down.

Naturally, I have to avert several meltdowns before I've accumulated enough to buy anything significant. I've been using this system since late summer of 2012, and I've worked my way up to seventy dollars. Not quite enough for a wall decal, but plenty for a couple of whimsical pieces of apparel and jewelry. Here they are.

A bird necklace, another bird necklace, and a dress with a woman bicyclist

And in case you're curious, here's how I earned all that money:
10$ - For 2 forgotten incidents before I opened the fund.
5$ - For overcooking my green beans.
5$ - For forgetting to clean the bathroom, forgetting to get new shampoo, and banging my hand on the oven all within 25 minutes.
5$ - For leaving my clothes in the dryer for 3 hours to get all wrinkly again when I'd put them in the dryer in the first place to de-wrinkle them.
5$ - For overcooking my green beans again!
5$ - For forgetting to bring everything into the shower that I needed for taking a shower.
5$ - For having to cross H street twice while trying to get onto H street. On foot! (There was an overpass in the way.)
5$ - For getting ignored by customer service at Safeway.

(That doesn't account for all 70 dollars, but it does account for all the 43 that I spent on this last batch of goodies.)