Valerie's Thoughts on Other People's Random Thoughts

A friend posted this list of "thoughts from people in their 20's and 30's" on Facebook. I'm not sure why the age is relevant, but it was kind of an interesting read. I am reposting portions of it (it was really quite long) here, because it will provide you all with entertainment while requiring a minimum of thought on my part.

Some of these thoughts are strikingly similar to mine. Some of them I just find funny. Some of them, I think are dumb.  I will, of course, provide Galorious commentary on all of these so you know how things should be.

Also, I should mention that a commenter to the original post posited that these quotes probably came from ruminations.com, which I visited, and it seems like a worthwhile site to visit again.

Without further ado, some ruminations.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Actually, I use this line, so I have a vested interest in defending it. I was trying to think of a good extension to the fire analogy, but I'll just tell it straight: Why spend money on something that you don't need and at best tastes awful, at midway makes a fool out of you, and at worst kills you?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I personally like to do a little hop-skip, then execute the 180, then change my mind and veer back in the direction I was going, then turn again, oscillate for a fraction of a second, and then head back.

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
Yeah, but why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Me too. Someone should start a poll. Do you get in the shower first, or do you run the water first?

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
I can! My life is boring and depressing, but I almost always get enough sleep.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
That's why you just don't bother having a collection. I mean, how many times do you really want to watch one movie anyway? Just rent it once or twice if you have to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
For me it means I'm going to machine wash it anyway. So far this hasn't been a problem.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Really? I'm always flattered when someone mentions something about me they've found on the Internet. First, it means I'm notorious! Second, it means they're probably not a psycho, loser, or both.

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I never have a problem with cyclists. Pedal power to the people! I just wish I was a little less wussy, so I could actually ride my bike places...

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

-the other day, one of my friends 4 year old kids asked me "What would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
Gosh! I wish someone would ask me what would happen if I ran over a ninja!

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
Really. Who has the patience to sit through a video when you can find exactly the information you want just scanning through words?

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Ours has one! Suckas!


This has been another worthless use of your time. Thanks for reading, and tune in next week for Valerie's Thoughts on Something Else That's Not Worth Thinking About!