An Insomnia Story

Have you ever wished you could have more hours in a day? Well, now you can!

What's the secret, you ask? Just a little thing called Insomnia!

The average human spends 1/3 of her life sleeping! What a waste! With Insomnia, you can go from spending 8 hours a night snoring away, to 20+ hours a day wide awake, completely unable to function because you've done away with that boring thing called sleep!

Try Insomnia, and you will see: your energy levels plummet! Your cognitive ability regress to a fourth-grade level! Your mood hit an unfathomably new low! Your every daily activity become 20 times harder! And much, much more!

If you're interested in Insomnia, it's easy to get started—just subject yourself to a minor stressful life event and lose some sleep over it! It's that simple! Before you know it, you'll be on your way to months or years of intractable sleeplessness! And this can all be yours, for the low, low cost of your last shred of sanity!

DON'T WAIT! CALL TODAY!

Hello, friends, family, and fellow denizens of the Internet. I hope you enjoyed my little commercial and have decided Insomnia is right for you, because misery loves company, and there are a lot of miserable insomniacs out there who would love you to join their ranks. I myself have insomnia (temporarily! You'll soon learn why I say that) and felt it was time to process the experience in the way I know best: by blogging!

Insomnia (which is, in a nutshell, an inability to get satisfying amounts or quality of sleep) is literally an epidemic in the United States. They say that anywhere from 10-60% of people live with some form of chronic insomnia. When I speak of chronic insomnia, I don't mean an occasional night of trouble getting to sleep, but rather the long-term, life-destroying form of the ailment (though the word "insomnia" can be used to mean any trouble sleeping, even for one night, in my writing I'll be using it as shorthand for "chronic insomnia").

When I was a new insomniac, I searched the Internet for stories, maybe reassurance that my feelings were normal and I wasn't completely alone, but I found almost nothing. If 10% of the US population has chronic insomnia, and the US population numbers 328 million, then at least 32 million Americans are dealing with chronic insomnia at this moment! Where are all their stories? I don't know, but I'm going to share mine. Hopefully the next poor soul struggling through another sleep-deprived day will run across this one and feel slightly less alone.

It's a good thing this blog already has a celestial theme, because my nocturnal issues are going to be its new biggest subject. I'm going to talk your ear off about insomnia, including my personal anecdotes, and maybe those of insomnia sufferers I've met along the way! I hope you're ready for a long-winded discussion on everything related to insomnia—if you're not, at least I hope I can bore you to sleep!